You can’t truly love someone else until you love yourself but many of us find loving ourselves hard. That internal dialogue we tell ourselves on a daily basis about the way we look, about what we might not have achieved yet, all the things we don’t yet have can be very damaging to our mental health and the way we view ourselves.
Imagine if someone said those things to you, you'd probably want to punch them in the face! So why do you allow yourself to say those things to you?
There are many societal pressures, especially through social media that encourage us to look a certain way, have certain things, be consistently high achieving, feel like you have purpose and be at peace. Even when we know what we see on social media isn't real life, we still find it hard to not compare ourselves to others.
So here are some of the ways I have started to learn to love myself:
- Come off or limit my time on social media – personally I like to take break completely from social media especially in times when I am stressed or overwhelmed as I can’t be conscious whilst I am using the app. However when I am using the app I will make sure it is conscious by following accounts that uplift me and inspire and not accounts where I compare myself.
- I use a gratitude journal – I use this before I go to bed and when I wake up to help me focus on all of the good things I have in my life even the small things that make me happy.
- I change my internal dialogue and focus on 3 things I love about the way I look that day rather than all things I might want to change.
- Find friends that uplift you and don’t try to put you down. When you find friends like this who you can share your problems with you find out that most people are dealing with the same problems as you but they can help you see how amazing you are, how much you have done already and everything great you already have.
Loving yourself isn’t just like flicking on a switch and with the added societal pressure we experience nowadays it can really take time. Taking small steps to change your behaviors can have a big impact on how kind you are to yourself, and allow you to share even more of your love with friends and family.